You hear this all the time. “Invest in yourself if you want to grow…” That is sound advice — some might even consider it life-changing…except it’s a broad sweep advice lacking direction.
Some people pay hundreds to thousands of dollars to attend seminars just to hear a celebrity coach or mentor shout this advice across the auditorium — the loud music and bright lights adds to the impact.
So, you leave ready to take on the world. You start to “invest” in yourself and focus on you. Everything starts to become about you, and that’s OK, because that’s how, you were told, to grow.
Your mindset has shifts and awaken. Right?
My friends, I’m all for investing in yourself! But don’t neglect perspective.
It’ll be a HUGE miss if you invest in yourself blindly and believe growth will come naturally. It doesn’t WITHOUT PERSPECTIVE.
It’s Never My Fault
When you spend your time focusing on mistakes of others, you are missing out on the opportunity in front of you.
If you’re being honest with yourself, then you will agree that pointing out someone else’s mistake is so easy and you have a tendency to do it frequently.
There are plenty of articles, self-help courses, seminars and coaches discussing the importance of accountability. But how often do we really choose to be accountable? The truth is going to hurt — but not often.
Instead of “it’s never my fault,” change your perspective to “what could I have done differently…“
There’s Always an Agenda
You neglect to see the good and find reasons to doubt everything. Keeping tabs on the faults reduces your ability to transform and transcend.
Contrary to your belief, there’s no grand conspiracy against you. Truth be told, people are not wasting their time and energy plotting your demise — as much as you feel otherwise.
Don’t let your paranoia get the best of you. It’s not worth it to spend another ounce of your energy trying to decipher agendas. You’ll drive yourself insane by trying to conjure a non-existent situation.
Instead of “there’s always an agenda,” change your perspective to “I’ll look at the bigger picture...”
I Wish I Had More
The lack of contentment leads your mind astray and fill it with thoughts of dissatisfaction with anything in your life.
Let me clarify. I’m 100% for aspiring for better, growing, and achieving.
It’s when you start wanting more and coveting what other’s have, your mind will be flooded with negative thoughts toward others.
Why? Because you start to compare what “they” have with what you have — and that’s a slippery slope. It’s the rabbit hole that you don’t want to get yourself in.
Instead of “I wish I had more,” change your perspective to “I’m blessed.“
I Don’t Need To Say “Thank You”
The two most important words anyone can say, is also the two most underused…’thank you.’
I’ve experienced my fair share of the absence of “thank you.” My biggest realization is this — when someone feels entitled, thankfulness goes out the window.
No matter how great or small the gesture is, it is important that you express thanks. It is as much about the givers’ generosity and your gratitude.
Being thankful and expressing thanks and gratitude is the highest level of self realization that you are owed nothing by anyone, no matter the relationship between two people.
Those who feel saying thanks is not needed epitomizes entitlement, period. I have cut off many people from my life, not because they are horrible individuals — but their sense of entitlement was toxic to my family and my well being.
Let me repeat, nobody is owed anything by anyone at anytime.
The Blame Game is Not Worth Playing
There’s no end to blame…wars happen because nations blame another for egregious acts, instead of holding itself accountable of contributing to the act of war itself.
Disagreements are usually caused by opposing mindsets and beliefs, because of each sides unwillingness to listen.
Failure in systems occur not because of the lack of resources, but the overflow of ego and hubris.
The human mind is limited by the boundaries formed from stubbornness, ego, immaturity, judgement, negligence, and insecurities.
We have a choice of the type of “world” we conjure…and the reality we live comes from this self created world.
Stay Focused on Positivity
Even though we need to focus on positivity, it is so much easier to be self centered. Why? It takes less effort, period.
The same amount of energy is invested into both positive or negative activities…so the fact that you choose unwisely is a reflection of your character, not how bad the world is treating you or how mean people are to you…
…because shit happens in life and people can be cruel.
I was talking to someone a week ago, and he was adamant that age and character seem to be highly connected.
I challenge the status quo and say that character has no correlation to age…
…I’ve witnessed adults who complain just as much as children, adults who feel entitled, greed in coworkers, lack of contentment for just about everything they have in life.
Instead of getting bogged down by the negative elements, you MUST make a deliberate choice to work on focusing on what’s good in your life — albeit, you may not have millions of dollars, the biggest house on the block, or the fanciest car — but who cares.
If you take a step back, I guarantee you’ll realize you have EVERYTHING you ever need in life. You just have to teach yourself to be happy and content with it.
Wrapping It Up
Humans have a unique way of getting upset when their opinions are ignored, and its compounded by their immaturity.
But you can change that, if you choose to. Kindness is felt, not heard. Empathy is seen, not spoken. Gratitude is shown, not asked for.
The reason I wrote this is because over the last two years since starting FMDM, ;earning to get perspective has been the biggest learning for me.
As a startup founder, it is important for me to realize that when deals fall apart, lose a client, or close a big deal — perspective keeps my grounded and steady.
Without perspective, I would be so easily swayed and lose sight of what I started my ad agency in the first place — to help people succeed!
