Something given, nothing asked.
Many of us like to think we’re charitable and always ready to help someone in need.
But it’s based on one very simple and basic condition.
That’s right. We are readily available to help, only when it fits into our schedule. Why? Because, we don’t revolve our life around someone else’s schedule. Right?
You would be lying if you didn’t agree with that statement. And you’re not wrong to feel that way either. We have our own priorities, appointments, and things to get done. You can’t go about life waiting for the next person to help. Or should you?
I’ll discuss the mindset that I feel strongly about. That is, by helping someone with no strings attached, you are helping yourself.
We push people away because they have flaws
You meet new people all the time. And there’s that one time when you meet someone you connect with. You develop a friendship and start hanging out, having fun, and cracking jokes at each other, and other people.
Maybe you start to complete each others’ sentences. Everything is going fine and dandy.
But one day, your friend said something that made you angry. Who cares what it is. But you felt disrespected. Here’s a reminder for moments like this. You’re not as perfect as you think either. You have said or done something in your life that disrespected someone else.
First, that’s not true friendship. Second, you need to relax. Third, there are bigger things to worry about.
Recall a time when you were in desperate need
We’ve all been there.
A situation that you were stuck in and someone came to your rescue.
It could be a financial hardship, or personal problem, or maybe just being there to listen. Whatever the reason is, whoever helped you probably did it without being asked.
They empathized with your situation and wanted to offer their help in goodwill.
While I have no statistical proof to back up my claim, I don’t think there are many people in the world who will help you with no strings attached.
And I don’t mean expectations of getting paid, but they do expect you to return the favor when it comes around.
Life tip: Never pat yourself on your back and tell people that you love to help others with no strings attached.
This is the worse thing you can do to scream “I love helping, but I do expect you to worship the ground I walk on.” Don’t be that person. People who truly care about you will eventually leave.
You earn respect and gratitude. You shouldn’t expect it.
Here are 5 things to consider when you help someone with no strings attached
#1: Don’t get upset if the favor is not returned
I know people who expect favors to be returned every time they help someone.
And when the other side doesn’t reciprocate, they overreact.
You need to remember this. No one held a gun to your head to help anyone. You offered to help, therefore it’s not barter agreement.
#2: It’s never about you
When you offer to help someone, it’s not about how nice you are, or how empathetic you are, or how self-sacrificial you are.
That’s just you being self-absorbed.
It’s about the other person’s situation. You are there to offer support and help. Period.
Helping someone with no strings attached also precludes any tendencies to praise yourself.
You can pontificate about your righteousness when you’re by yourself.
#3: Everyone has flaws, no one is perfect
I’ve seen this more often than I’d like.
Imagine this scenario.
Person A helps person B in goodwill. Later on, person B said something wrong or does something wrong – as a human. Person A expresses regret for helping because of the flaw in person B.
You see, everyone has a flaw or two. Including yourself. It doesn’t mean that helping someone in any capacity makes you any more perfect than the other person.
#4: You offered, no one is taking advantage of you
That’s right. Nobody is out to get you. The person you are helping did not conjure up the situation so they can take advantage of your kindness.
Here’s a problem I have noticed, throughout my life. People are paranoid. They feel that everyone else has an agenda even though, in reality, there’s none.
Another thing to be mindful of. If you decide to help someone with no strings attached, you might still be doing it because of your need for attention and insecurity.
Yes, this is a real thing. Insecurity can be a catalyst to prompt your helpful desires. Why? Because you need to fill a gap in life. You want to feel wanted. Your desire to be appreciated can backfire on your intention to help.
So remember this, to be a true leader, you need to put your paranoia, insecurities, and demonstrate your ability to help someone with your complete attention.
#5: Don’t keep score
No strings attached means just that.
Don’t keep score of how many times you’ve helped someone.
Helping someone in their time of need is not a game. There’s no time limit, no conditions, no reward. But there is one very important thing if you’re doing it right.
It’ll be a win-win situation.
It feels good to help someone.
No matter what the situation is, your sincerity will show and can be felt by people around you.
If I’m being honest, after so many years learning from mentors and working with a wide variety of people, not many people will help you without an agenda.
It’s a rarity to find someone who will truly help you with no strings attached.
But to be a true leader and gain the respect of your peers and people around you, the burden is on you to show them there are no strings attached when you offer to help.